Likeable Murderers
by roisaber
Summary: Paula and Luna get an evening to themselves while waiting for L'Arc and his merry band to catch up with them in Carbunculus. Naturally, even taking a break doesn't guarantee the safety of anyone who comes into contact with them, and their casual cruelty will always find some kind of outlet.


Paula and Luna sat at the dining table of a quiet farmhouse, well outside the capital of Carbunculus. It wouldn't do to make an appearance too soon, and their reconnaissance indicated that L'Arc and his band of terrorists were still a few days out. The farmer had been all too happy to accommodate the pair with a room after Luna flashed him a little leg, and he'd been briefly astonished when Paula stabbed him directly in the heart with a stiletto she had secreted in her sleeve. In a macabre twist, Paula had chopped up his body and deposited a part in each of the wine casks in the cellar.

"Oh, damn!"

Luna looked up from her reverie. "What?"

"I spilled wine on my dress. Oh well, at least it's black and won't show."

Luna crinkled her nose. "I can't believe you're drinking that. You're gross."

"Are you sure you don't want to try any? It's got an exotic copper flavor you're not likely to get anywhere else," Paula replied with a wicked grin.

"No, thank you!"

Luna got up and started rummaging through the farmer's larder. It was late spring, and the vegetables were still a little undersized, but with a little finesse she was sure she could make a compelling stew anyway. Though they were cousins, the pair had been away from civilization so long that it was only natural that they had become lovers. Paula decanted herself another glass of the tainted wine, a flicker of her inner fire sparkling in her eyes. Luna caught her cousin's wicked smile and rolled her eyes good-naturedly.

"Pfh, as if you're any better," Paula accused in a mocking tone. "After Lagoon the Cursed defeated us at the Mandelro Coast, you've developed a little sadistic streak as well."

"At least _I_ don't eat them. Anyway, can you help me out with the fire? I can't get these matches to light."

Paula casually raised a hand and the stove erupted into flame. Careful not to douse the fire with her latent energy, Luna put the cast iron crockery into the oven and watched it intently, saying nothing. Paula drained her glass and poured herself another, slowly becaming cognizant of Luna's distress.

She said aloud, "What's wrong, lover?"

Luna didn't say anything, and merely stoked the fire with a poker. She was careful to keep her emotions under control so that her water magic wouldn't spill out and ruin dinner.

"Seriously, what is it?"

Luna sighed. "I just wonder, that's all."

"Wonder what?"

"I just wonder if we're doing the right thing."

Paula immediately barked with nervous laughter, and then silenced herself. If Luna was going to commit to put an end to L'Arc's terrorist band once and for all, she was going to have to be totally committed to the mission. And if she had doubts, even small ones, it could compromise the pair's ability to overcome their foes in combat. Paula gathered her thoughts before answering.

"Look, Luna, what's going to happen if L'Arc succeeds?"

Luna shrugged.

"If L'Arc succeeds he's going to find out about Eesa and the fate of the world. He's going to find out that the Common Race is damned to death by its own biology, isn't he?"

Luna nodded and looked away.

"And the only thing he can do is go to Eesa with that creepy Imaginal Diva and demand that the world be flooded with Hozone. That would kill not only Lord Ignacy, but the entire Divine Race. All of them."

"But Paula… if the other Diva wins, that Real Diva, she'll kill us and everyone we've ever known by clearing the world of Hozone entirely."

Paula's face darkened, and she felt disquiet creep into her happy drunk.

"Lord Ignacy says that he has a plan, and I believe him. Maybe he'll let us kill both of those stupid bitches and demand a new law from Eesa, himself."

"Our whole world is balanced on the edge of a knife, dearest lover," Luna said quietly.

"I know."

Paula casually threw her wine glass against the wall, splattering the admixture of blood and wine all over the floor. Luna steeled herself against her cousin's outburst. The centerpiece, a vase full of flowers, erupted into a gout of fire before flaming out just as quickly. Luna could see the other girl's chest heaving under the fabric of her dress.

"Damn it," Paula hissed through a clenched throat. "I'm worried too, okay? We got caught up in something that's as big as the entire world. But just… put that aside for a minute. No matter what else, Lord Ignacy is right. Stupid L'Arc and his stupid friends need to die."

Luna brightened. "I agree. He's caused more than enough trouble already. And maybe we could get rid of that purple haired bitch while we're at it…"

Paula calmed, and allowed herself a smile at her cousin's improved cheer.

"Alas, Lord Ignacy says no. But I do share your enthusiasm for the project."

Paula found another glass, and poured another generous offering of the bloody wine. Luna felt a pang of mild disapproval but it was hardly worth getting her cousin riled up again over it. Instead she tended to the stew, stirring and tasting and seasoning until she was pleased with the results. Against her expectations the underripe vegetables had softened nicely, and finally she rummaged through the farmer's cabinets until she found bowls and broad soup spoons for the meal.

Paula smiled broadly when Luna handed her a bowl of bubbling stew, accompanied by a loaf of stale but still palatable bread. She dug into the thick porridge without hesitation.

"Mm, as usual, you worked a miracle."

Luna blushed. "Thank you."

After dinner, the pair searched the farmhouse for something to do. As the nearest neighbor was at least two kilometers away, it was likely they'd have free run of the farm uninterrupted until it was time to intercept L'Arc in the capital. They uncovered books and games, and Paula laid claim to a bottle of well-aged whiskey that she discovered in a desk drawer. Without sympathy, the pair evaluated daguerreotypes of the farmer and his wife, now both deceased.

"I think they make a cute couple," Luna asserted.

Paula laughed. "Oh that farmer was a hottie when he was younger, but his wife's no looker. She looks like a pig that just found a truffle."

"Paula!" Luna chided through her giggles.

They each tried on some of the wife's clothes, and ridiculed how they hung on the pair's thin but well-muscled frames. They took turns heating and freezing the metal of a safe until the lock cracked with fatigue, and rummaged through it for valuables.

Paula groaned, "Fuck, it figures. Nothing but mementos."

"He won't miss them now."

Paula shrugged. "Just leave them. Maybe his kids will get some sentimental value or something."

"That doesn't sound like you at all," Luna replied with a smile.

"Pfht. If it's not worth taking, why bother?"

They eventually found a small purse full of Rico, which Paula added to their meager stash. Lord Ignacy, for all his admirable traits, was admittedly dim on the subject of money. The pair was perpetually broke in a way that Paula tended to solve with her scythe, and the last thing they needed was to blow their cover over an unpaid bar tab. The rest of the house was rustic and uninteresting. They finally found a deck of cards and spent the rest of the evening playing that long-standing stand-in for boredom, rummy. After sharing a few belts from the bottle of whiskey, it became strip rummy, which rapidly devolved into a race up the stairs to see who could be first under the covers in the dead man's bed. The two shared an hour of lust before finally letting the creaks of the old house lull them to sleep.

At dawn, just after the first crowing of the rooster, Paula awoke with a start.

"Luna!" She shook her cousin frantically. "Luna, he's here!"

"Who?" Luna asked groggily. Suddenly she felt the same mental tug as Paula. "Oh!"

The two quickly dressed and made their way downstairs, only to find Lord Ignacy tapping his feet in the foyer of the house.

"I trust you ladies slept well?" he asked with an audible snort of annoyance.

"Lord Ignacy! We apologize!" Paula put in as they both bowed deeply.

"It is no great matter," Ignacy answered generously. "Nevertheless, it's time to go. He's here."

Luna was confused. "He?"

"L'Arc, he's arrived in Carbunculus."

"He's days ahead of schedule," Paula murmured in protest.

"Nevertheless. Let's go."


End file.
